Goo !

I knew he was beyond normal the very first time i met him. It was the engineering admission's option form submission day. Guru was standing on platform no. 3 talking to one of our common friends (CF) who also was going to submit the form alongwith me and him. The first time i looked at him, i could notice an air of authority about him. Both hands dug deep in the trouser pcokets , standing erect like a stick and looking the least interested in what CF was saying. At one time, CF said something and was thundering with laughter while guru stood their , not as much as a smile on his face. This interested me about him. He would not laugh at peoples nonsense , something which very few people do.
Noticing that CF had seen me , i went up to talk up with them , hoping to share my worries about the admissions. For some reason i asked Guru for his option form. It was more of an answer for " what are your dream branch-college combos " than a practical one. But not wanting to disappoint him , i said "Wow ! Am sure you'll get selected to atleast one of those." As usual, guru seemed least bothered about my comment. He looked up at my option form too , which i thought was atleast a bit more practical than his. His comment? A huge guffaw. Then tells me, " Dude, you are not getting selected at any of those. You better go home if you are gonna submit this form." That to an individual he had met up only a few minutes ago.As it turned out , i actually did not get selected anywhere and neither did he. But it was clear. He lacked social sense.And he was not afraid to speak out his mind, whatever trash it had. But having someone like him with you , as it turned out later , is too much fun, offcourse at his expense.

"Isnt it such a bliss being a bird?", I once asked Guru. " You can just float about in the air and worry about precious little. Oh! to be a bird, man. ". Pat came guru's reply, " how do you know birds dont take tension?". I was not a bit surprised, being with this gem for 4 years.Thats the kind of "speaking up your mind" i am talkin about. Hes not afraid to or ashamed to tell things that people with the most average cranial capacity would find ridiculous.And then he'll let out a small smile or a slight laugh realising what he has just done.Truly likeable!

Getting printouts in time for submissions have always proved to be guru's devil.Once in the first year the prof was asking students how many printouts they have completed.One said 5, the other 10. Guru,never the one to be left out, put his hands up and waved it frantically to catch the profs attention.He announced his status to the class with such pride that made us hide under the desks."Sir, Zero." We could see how the sir was at a loss for emotions and then finally said in hindi, "leke jao re isko."

Although not very tech-savvy, physics and science has always been guru's forte.Hes always left us logically stunned with questions and trivia ranging from the need for headlamps in trains to female anatomy.Appreciate a woman in front of guru and hes sure to drop in a comparison thats so pukable , you want to escape from the "goo" coverage area for atleast half an hour.

This happened a few months back.Me and Goo were travelling from Kurla to Dombivli in the train.The video coach (read ladies first class) was in front of us. So it had to be entertainment guaranteed.Almost everyone were stealing glances at the video coach while some others had their heart, mind and eyes on the wonderful beings of the coach as if it was their responsiblity to "look after" them.How blessed the ladies would have been feeling, i can only imagine.And then there were some others like our goo who seemed more interested in observing how the train changes tracks ( this after travelling in trains for almost 5-6 years).I was the "stealing glances" type for that day.But this female who got in at Ghatkopar required more than glances , in fact she was begging to be glanced at.She was endowed! So after a few peekaboos i tried telling guru how beautifully endowed she was.Our convo went like this.
"Guru , look at that female in the pink top."
(Goo looks obviously disturbed from his observations) " Where ? "
"Arre, there there" (i try to show him with my eyes pointing at her only to realise that guru was not even looking at me)
"That pink saree walli? "
"Pink saree?! " (Now i try to search for a pink saree hoping that guru had found another gem)
"yeah, that pink saree waali standing near the door. "
( I search the door and finally find an aunty most prolly in her 50s in a maroon saree. ) " Thats pink? "
"offcourse it is"
"fuck you. Abbe look at the chick standing at the entrance."
"ohh yeaah!" (gets an instant orgasmic reaction on his face)
"Isnt she endowed? "
"Like...how?"
(i couldnt help the disgust to show up on my face) " Look at her boobs yaar."
"Boobs? How are you able to see her boobs? Shes standing facing us."
"Yeah! I thought ladies have boobs in the front and not at the back."
"Isnt that true?"
(My eyes almost popped out)"Whats your definition of boobs?"
"Offcourse that thing on our backs"
"dOOd! those are bums...not boobs! Boobs are things on their fronts"
By the time i had explained him the meanings of the most basic terms, we had reached thane and i had lost some precious "steal-glance" moments.
"So, how do you find her stuff? "
"They are just fine.I have seen better."
"Where? Must be in porn."
"No.Look at the lady standing next to her."
Whoaaa! How could i miss her! She was draped in a saree but hadnt escaped gurus radar.
"Nice find!!!"
"I know" and goes back to his observations of how train changes tracks.

Challenging guru can be risky.He'l find the loophole in the challenge the moment it is laid and will merrily accept it,making us wonder if the task was really worth the challenge.But this time , we had no apprehensions about our challenge we had for guru.He had been checking out this chick in the class for quite some time.So one day we challenged him to go and talk to her.He thought for a few nanoseconds and said, "sure". He waited for the right moment.And that moment came when the class was left.He puposefully walked behind her and when they neared the steps, went close to her ears and said, "excuse me" and walked past her. He had talked to her.And she did move aside so he had actively talked to her.He had won the challenge, and we stood their laughing our guts out.

This has been my longest posts, but just a very brief idea of one of the most likeable guys i have ever come across.Intelligent, yet disgusting.Smart yet dumb.Almost always sweet and helpful,a dog at other times.Quite a mix! Quite an individual.