Of vodka and apple juice...

...and I almost forgot the username.

"...So, whats up?", she asked.
"Oh, an overly glamorous life. A few girlfriends here and there, some one night stands and the such."
I was as pleased at the reply as a child would be after calling someone a name his mom had especially warned him against and especially after he was name called first.
She knew, and I believe pretty much everyone knows, that there is as little a probability of anything mega or atleast something worth telling happening in my life, as something not happening in a hot girl's life.
Hot girls and me. Vodka and pickle juice. Diabolical in a certain way, the species are. So much more the perceived availability, that much more the tangible unavailability. Take for example the case of this girl...umm...I'd call her more classy than hot. Since classy is hot for me, she is hotter than a lit cigarette tip. Percieved available for what now seems to be a genuinely infantile rationale. The rationale being that she agreed for a cup of tea the first time she was asked. That also was the second time we talked. Very big deal no? Pah, no! The story, as a matter of fact ends there. Nice tea, great conversation, thank you sir - hence second time tea? No sir, 'I just had apple juice'.
I am starting to believe in the theory of a single creator. Special designers for the genus and the species. Lack of imagination can be an attribute to these designers for their creations are aall the same. Or atleast perceivably same because we ordinaries are all the same. Not our fault, though. We are just born , not created.

Aloha Confusion!

I decided to sleep at 11 pm the day before the last exam and wake up at 1 am. Blankets on.Lights off.
Time: 11.20 The mobile goes beep.My jiju was online.
"Hello,suji"
"Yeah chettan, what happened?"
"You remember the girl you were with during the floods?"
I was not quite expecting two words which he said - "girl" and "floods". So after hmmming for 5 seconds i figured out what he was saying.Although i was with 3 girls on the day of floods, i dint want to argue about it on the phone with him especially at midnight. So i thought up about one particular chick among the three and continued the convo.
"Yeah,i do. What happened?"
"Her Dad called up. It seems she's lost her cell in the train and has asked her dad to ask you to ask the customer service to deactivate her account"
Confusion struck me right from the first line. Why did he call jiju and not me? How the hell did he have jiju's number and not mine?Maybe he liked him better. What the hell. Then again, why did she ask her dad to ask me to ask the CSE? Why not she do it herselves?And more importantly,why cant she call me up directly? Maybe she doesnt like me.What the hell.So i decide to call her up and clear things up myselves.
First call:
"hello. (Laughs). How careless can people get!" How did it happen? "
"Who the sam hill is this?"
"24XXXXX ? "
"NO!"
"Extremely sorry." (i say that with the meekest voice possible.)

Second call:
"hello.(doesnt laugh).24XXXXX? "
"Yeah,sujith. What happened? This time?"
"Yeah.Your dad called up jiju. How did it happen? "
"How did what happen? What are you talking about,sujith? And why would my dad call up your jiju? "
"Exactly. Why would he! But you should have been more careful yaar."
"Dude,you mind telling me where i was careless? Sujith, seriously are you drunk?" (chuckles)
"Looks like you lost your mind alongwith your mobile.Offcourse i'm not drunk."
"Mobile? I have my cell very much with me.Oh, so you want me to call you up.You are playing the fool 'cuz i've not been calling you.Right?"
"Not right.So you didnt lose your cell? And your dad dint call up my jiju?"
"No. No." (chuckles again)
"Okay.Nevermind.So hows life? Hows jayu? Not smsed her for a long time."
"Oh jayu, she boarded the train today from M.P"
Suddenly my tubelight tried to flicker and light up.
"Okie.Then probably jayu lost her cell.And probably it was her dad."
"Why are you behind everyones cell and dad? Am sure you are not in your senses today.I'll call you tommorow when you have got your sense back.Okay?
"Okay.Btw, im totally fine.You dont understand."
"Whatever.Bbye and goodnight."
"Bye."
Jaw resting on my palms,the elbow on the knees,eyes askance,i sit to think.Things had become just a bit more vague now. So in an attempt to sort out things once and for all,i tried calling up jayu's mobile.
"Out of coverage area", said the computer aunty.
Tried her landline number. Time: 11.35 pm.
"Hello?"
"hello?" (i hear a male voice.It was jayus dad.)
"Hello uncle, jayus there?"
"No, she's gone to M.P.Would be reaching here only tommorow."
"Oh i see.She called you up after boarding the train?"
"Yeah"
"So she must definitely be having the cell with her.Just wanted to call her up.Was not able to get through.Thats why."( Obviously i dint want him to be tensed about something which by now seemed an artwork of imagination)
"No.She called from her colleagues mobile.She lost her's."
"Oh really?.What happened?"
"Actually what happened na...wait...whos this? "
The last two words stunned me for a moment.In the heat of the moment,i had not introduced myselves and he had not noticed it...till that moment.
"Oh, im sujith"
"Oh, sujith! I called up your jiju sometime back.Actually jayu lost her cell and she dint remember any number.We had your jiju's number here but couldnt find yours. So asked him to inform you about it."
"Yeah he did.So should i ask the CSE to deactivate the account?"
"Yeah please,can you do that?
"Sure why not uncle."
"And you'll inform me after you've done it?"
"okay"
Now assuming that because it was her cell, the simcard would also be regsitered in her name, i called up the CSE.
After the pain in the ass IVRs and four failed calls, i finally got through to a human voice at 12 am.I explained the problem to him and he sounded only too eager to help me out till this happened:
"Sir,but for deactivating, you'll hafta answer some security questions about the number you want to deactivate"
Great! I almost always had trouble answering security questions about my own simcard,what with questions like the day of last recharged and stuff.But after all the trouble of getting through to the CSE, i couldnt just back out.So there i was answering security questions about jayus simcard.
"Sir, could you please help me with her address?"
Although i knew where she stayed,i dint know the area name, building name or any name except her name.But i had to answer it.
"Its...hmm...is it near agarwal hall?"
"Right sir. Could you please help me a bit more?"
"hmmm...agarwal hall...dombivli?"
"Exactly.Could you tell me the name of the building sir?"
"No, i dont know that."
"The last recahrge?"
"Sorry.No idea"
"Date of birth?"
"June 14th?"
"No, sir"
"July 14th?"
"No, sir"
"Some 14th.Right?"
"No sir."
"The simcard is registered to jayu(off course thats not her name!).Right?"
"No, sir."
"What???"
"Its registered to T.S.G."
"What???"
Not wanting to be reported for making hoax calls for deactivating peoples mobile account, i hung up instantly.I figured out that T.S.G would have to be jayus dad and her simcard, for some weird reason was registered in her dad's name and not her's.
So called up T.S.G. uncle a second time to take all the data that might be required.
Then called up the CSE again and finally got the account deactivated.Feeling mighty successful i called up T.S.G. uncle again to inform him about the deactivation.
"Thank you so much for all the trouble sujith."
"Oh,it was easy uncle.No problem at all."
Episode end: 12.30 am. Goes to sleep.Wakes up at 1 am to switch off the alarm and goes to sleep again.